So I’m back!!!! I know you’ve all been waiting with baited breath!!!! HA HA!!!

I have been in my room all day because last night the roommate and I had a HUGE BLOW OUT!!! Nothing new there!!! It’s been happening A LOT!!!

I did have a few phone calls I had to make but that didn’t take me all day….. I just didn’t want to go out there….

Well, I just got off the phone with my son in London which is a rare treat and decided I couldn’t handle the pain of sitting on my bed anymore… It really does a number on my back…

All I can say is I feel like a turd in a punch bowl!!!!! SO SORRY TO FUCKING INFRINGE ON YOUR FUCKING TERRITORY!!!!

I was under the impression, all be it ridiculous, that this was also my apartment!!!

But silly me!!! Ever since I came out of my room she has found a bunch of reasons to leave the apartment…

I wish I could go somewhere but I literally have $8.25 to my name until God knows when…

Virtually no gas in my car so driving anywhere is out of the question and I have already had to tell the place I lease my car from that I will have to make a double payment again next week…

I just really love this situation.. I finally got the labor board to release my payments but they put me in a forfeit status which means none of my payments will count toward my debt so until I have resolved the 24 days which is 6 weeks because each week of unemployment only counts as 4 FUCKING days only then will they start applying the payments toward my debt….

So I guess on Monday I will just have to contact all the temp agencies and take whatever asshole shit job they can put me in and pray to God, Allah or whatever higher power there really is that I can get something that isn’t in a call center!!!

I can’t go on like this!!!

I literally prayed to God, and if you know me, I don’t pray often that he wouldn’t let me wake up the next day… Sadly, he didn’t answer my prayers…. I woke up….

I am just sick of getting bad and wrong answers from NYS agency after agency and then Aetna and interviews and just everything in general…

Now this war with Jen…. I just can’t handle this CRAP!!!! I JUST CAN’T!!!!!


I am too close to the end of my life to do it again!!!!! I can’t walk on egg shells all over again!!!!

Well, I hear her coming so I guess it’s time to retire back to my bedroom and I guess I’ll get to watch MY TV when she goes to bed!!!!






Looks Like I’m Doing This!!!!

So here I am with no idea of how to do this or if anyone will even care to read it!!! But What The Fuck!!! I might as well give it a shot!!!

If nothing else it will give me a place to shoot off my feelings other than FB and my journal and if in some way I touch someone else’s life in some way than cool!!! If not that’s OK too!!

So… Here I sit on July 4th “weekend” for the 3rd day in a row having not left my house!!! Unusual??? For me… Yes!!! I was invited to a party on Saturday that I fully intended to go to!!! I had stocked up on eggs so I could make my KICK ASS DEVILED EGGS!!! Made sure I had the PERFECT outfit to wear but when it came right down to it I just wasn’t up to going!!!

I did have a horrible migraine but I probably could have gotten past that with meds and distraction from the company but to really drag myself out of the house was just too much effort!!! Yes, I had run errands earlier in the day but those were necessary and don’t involve interaction with “real” people!!!

I feel myself drawing further and further into my shell and I don’t like it!!! This so NOT ME!!!!

On top of that my roommate was supposed to give me way more money than she did and now I have to have a talk with her that I can’t bring myself to have!!! But if I don’t my car can’t be reregistered!!! Or my next car payment can’t be made!!!

I just can’t believe I have allowed myself to be in this situation once again!!!! WHEN THE FUCK DO I WISE THE FUCK UP????

On top of that while she was out yesterday her mother, who is also our landlord, came down and confronted me with eviction papers!!!!

Seriously!!!! She says that part of it is now handled but what the fuck does that mean???

All my money I had set aside is now gone!!! I have no serious job prospects and AGEISM is REAL in the job market!!!! I do GREAT on phone interviews!!! But then when I walk in the door it all falls apart!!!!

I just know if something doesn’t happen soon I am going to lose what is left of my mind!!!!!

So if you are reading this leave me a comment so I know you were here and Thanks for taking the time!!!